As much as I love to write, I definitely can't keep up with it every day....it's too time consuming, and frankly, I find other things way more important sometimes. But, once I take a break, all I want to do is come back and write......but I find the whole task daunting because I'm "behind". And the stress of that is overwhelming, so I wait longer and longer and never seem to catch up. So instead of trying to play "catch up", I'm just going to skip ahead and *try* not to look back.

As much as I tried to get in the Christmas spirit this year, I find myself still having a hard time.....baking cookies helps (although Buddy's done the heavy lifting there), and reading books at night helps....but the cats destroyed our Christmas tree (and by destroyed, I mean the tree doesn't even look like a tree anymore), I never finished decorating (so boxes are still out in the hallway), and the weather here is being all sorts of crazy (which definitely doesn't help). I tried wrapping presents to feel "connected", but since I don't really have a tree to put them under right now, it didn't really help.Christmas music is slowly helping....but I think what I need the most is to see my family. Seeing Buddy's family at Thanksgiving was so great - it was a fun time that was relaxing and stress free and full of good food! Now I need that with my family! 

It's amazing how little things really mean so much this time of year. All the traditions we used to do - they just aren't the same without those original people. Like singing the 12 Days of Christmas on the way home from the candlelight service where we all take different days and sing them (with Dad doing the low 5 Gooooooooooolden Ringgsssssssssss) as we look at Christmas lights. Or having Christmas day stocking presents opened before breakfast but having to wait for breakfast before opening anything else. I'm so looking forward to seeing my family this year! Wish they lived closer.....